Late night ramblings

There is something else i want to say, but i can't quite seem to find the words. A sentiment that lies hidden or buried, waiting to be expressed, something about change and friendship or love and living between two places. Something about the clouds and rain and the touch of your skin, something about the colour of the sun light in winter and how summer always ends. Something about the feeling of losing what was never mine to begin.  And if i were a poet I'd have the rhyme to say,  I'd write the words to touch a nerve and wish my heart away. But I am a dancer who's limbs can no longer express, i have lost the agility to convey the depth of sentiment and feeling. The only thing i know is there is a choice and there is cake, there is pleasure and pain, there are meaningless words on paper and the slow dance in the rain. There is the cold that creeps into my bones, there is the life with you and the one i have when i am alone. There are two people here inside this body, and they live and love and laugh differently, they have two homes. I know the person in the mirror is sometimes not me, but is a reflection of who i think i am. This is just the night talking, i am half asleep.

Mercury in Retrograde

(This is a work in progress)

We look to the heavens for some kind of sign

We look to the heavens only to find

The planets moving backwards

And the stars have re-aligned

We ask our selves what happens now

Only to find, Mercury the messenger

Is out of his mind

The stars can’t tell us everything

Or anything if you don’t believe

Plans go awry, and I want to know why

And I’m told it’s because of Mercury

Mercury traveling backwards through the sky

If we find our fortunes in the stars

Is the future really ours?

Why do (why would) we put our faith in the heavens,

When the planets move backwards and stars fall to earth

I'd write you a love song, but I'll tell you a lie 
I'll say this was a missed connection just another masquerade, 
and ill say it was because of the positions of the planets
I'll blame  it on Mercury, Mercury in retrograde

I’ve made some bad decisions

I’ve caused a lot of strife

Has Mercury been in retrograde,

my whole, my whole life?

I don’t want to be angry

But my mind is already made

We’ll blame it all on Mercury,

Mercury in retrograde

Mercury is the messenger

And the message has been lost

He’ll blaze backwards across the sky

At least from one point of view

His winged feet slowed and passed

Over ground already covered

The past returning for another view

This is a time for reflections

And I’m reflecting on you

I didn't know these mistakes were going to be made

But I blame it all on Mercury, Mercury in retrograde

Lying to my self is second nature, my stock and trade

I blame it all on Mercury, Mercury in retrograde

We look to the heavens for some kind of sign

We look to the heavens only to find

The planets moving backwards

And the stars have re-aligned

We ask our selves what happens now

Only to find, Mercury the messenger

Is out of his mind.

Absolved of my problems

When I look to the sky

I blame it all on Mercury

Mercury in retrograde.

Satellites and Stars

Shooting stars remind me
that the sky can fall at any time

And satellites
know the heavens better than most

The sun will burn
bright before it bursts

A million million
tiny pieces of exploding light

The moon will split open
and oceans rise forever

Rain will fall
in places dry of everything but tears

Rivers run wild
in spite of all our fears

Pearls of forgotten wisdom
found in oysters that will never be eaten

My hands lie still
skin broken spirit bruised but not yet beaten

yet I still wish upon the falling stars
and trace the satellites as they burn across the sky
I'll shield my eyes to the sun
and run into the ocean
I'll bury my hands in the earth to make it green

All things end
and all things begin again it seems

The Witching Hour

I woke again at 2am, it seems to be my witching hour. The time at which the veil lifts and things are revealed. Not every night, but enough to be notable I wake and remember my dreams. Or just for a moment as my eyes open I see what is not meant to be seen. The dark figures standing in the corner, the demons and angels writhing on my ceiling. I try to convince my self that this wasn't real, if I don't believe in heaven or hell why am I visited by angels and demons?

The muse visits at this time as well, you either catch her, holding fast and let her carry you to inspiration or she slips through your fingers, passing back through the veil to caress another, hounding them with her influence. Her need is incessant and you must pay attention for she is a slippery creature, vein and full of pretensions full of gifts but easy to upset. She visited last night, but didn't stay long enough for me to take hold of her.  I only got so far as this...